A few months ago, Mrs. Taleteller over at Tales & Tails posted about her bed hogs (if you don't regularly read this blog, you should since it's always got amazing pics and great writing). She mentioned the battle for real estate in their bed. I commented that Rita "mostly sleeps curled up in one spot all night - next to the hubby."
I should have known better.
Pretty much since then, Rita's been sleeping next to me. Which I don't really like.
I'm a flipper in bed. And a flopper. So, when she sleeps next to me, it's no bueno.
We used to sleep like this, with hubs in pretty much that same position all night, Rita next to him, me happily flipping and flopping on my half of the bed:
|Me, happily flipping on my side of the bed|
|Me, happily flopping on my side of the bed|
But then (after MANY beds being bought/returned, trialed/returned, bought/moved to the guest room, bought/stood on end in the garage, etc. Seriously - I could do a LONG post about our bed-buying woes), we ended up with 2 twin beds in our king frame. And Rita doesn't like Mike's side of the bed anymore.
So, now, she sleeps on my half. Which starts out okay:
|Me, marginally happy at night's beginning|
|Me - no happy.|
Ya know how one dog year equals 7 human years? Well, I think awake-dog weight is to asleep-dog weight as dog years are to human years. (Did you used to love or hate those analogous relationship tests?)
In other words, an awake dog might weigh 44 pounds, but that same dog - when asleep - suddenly weighs 308 pounds.
When I wake up pinned, of course I'm in need of flipping. And it takes a complicated system of pulleys, blanket leverage and Olympic-shot-putter-worthy leg strength to get the dog to flip with me.
By which time I am completely awake.
I really really wish I hadn't jinxed myself!
What do you think? Is my theory correct? Do you also sleep with a fur-covered granite boulder in your bed?
P.S. Don't forget - the next Give Cancer the Paw blog hop is coming on Feb. 6. You can blog about whatever you want - your own struggles with dog cancer, someone you know who needs "the power of the paw", research info, cancer-fighting tips, etc.
Thanks to Snoopy’s Dog Blog, Alfie’s Blog, and My Brown Newfies for hosting Monday Mischief!
I toss and turn a lot too and Mr. N wants to sleep right next to me. The boyfriend jokes that Mr. N magically expands at night and takes up way more space than he should. Could you and your husband switch sides of the bed?ReplyDelete
Nope, it's not the side so much as the surface. Which is why we now have twin beds in our king frame - because we both wanted very different things (in terms of softness/support) to sleep on. She's not a fan of the topper he has on his side of the bed now, so she wants to sleep on my side. Ugh.Delete
I have this problem with the cats! And I agree with your calculation on sleeping weight, provided it applies equally to felines. It's the worst. Thankfully neither of the dogs even likes being up on furniture (too hot), so we don't have to compete with them too (we'd lose). But it's amazing how much space 2 ten-pound cats can take up on a king size bed. Jerks.ReplyDelete
PS. LOVE the diagrams!Delete
That's too funny. Yes, the same equation applies to cats, so those 2 10-lb cats mean you actually have 140lbs worth of sleeping cat in the bed. It's like another person.Delete
Glad you enjoyed the diagrams. I slaved over them.
Great illustration ;-) I am a terrible wiggler, so anyone, human or canine, too close to me is not appreciated. Wilson likes to be on the bed but doesn't cuddle, Jimmy likes to be on your head like a cat!ReplyDelete
That's so funny. Our beagle Bailey used to start out by the feet, then end up by your head. Some nights you'd wake up to find you were sharing your pillow with her. When she was a puppy, she would sleep on our heads. You must wake up with neck pain, like we used to!Delete
Are these illustrations anatomically correct? Inquiring minds need to know.ReplyDelete
Don't you see our pajamas in the pictures?? You can't see nuthin'.Delete
Probably should have made myself look a bit more female w/ some long hair. But that was the only "distinguishing feature" that I meant to add, but forgot!
Hmph. Mollie and Alfie's mom makes her selfies anatomically correct. Poor Rita. Of course, I don't have to scrub my eyes after looking at your pictures ... ;)Delete
Clearly I need to check out Mollie and Alfie's blog.Delete
Great post, Jackie! You had me laughing! No dogs in our bed. Kylie, our Lab sounds like a locomotive snoring...she is really LOUD. As for Gidget, with IVDD and no control of what might come out of her butt at night, no Gidget in bed either. So that means good night sleep for both hubby and I....that is if Kylie's snoring does not wake us even from the kitchen, which it sometimes does! Geesh!ReplyDelete
That's nice that your bed is dog-free. But, oh dear on the snoring!Delete
Luckily neither Rita nor the hubs snores. (If the hubs should leave a comment here saying that *I* do, do NOT believe him!)
And I hope I didn't just jinx myself again....
Lol. I once woke up because I couldn't feel my legs. I couldn't feel them because Leroy was laying on them!ReplyDelete
I don't even want to do the "asleep-dog" math to figure out what Leroy would weigh!Delete
Well, you sure did jinx yourself! That is the way I sleep with daddy-dog, curled up in his legs. He doesn't like it much, but what is he going to do?!? I am a 20lb dog awake and a 200 lb dog while asleep. Good luck!ReplyDelete
Hehehehe, yes, you are right - what's he going to do!? He needs a pulley system and Olympic-shot-putter legs!Delete
Thankfully no dogs in our bed. Roxy used to get in bed with me half way through the night, but doesn't anymore. Her choice. But she was hard to move when she was there.ReplyDelete
She's so small! Seems like she'd be no problem in the bed. But... it's that "asleep dog" math again. That's good that they don't sleep in the bed!Delete
Oh gosh, you totally cracked me up with this one, Jackie. I think "fur covered granite boulder" describes dogs on the bed perfectly (and I love the weight analogy too)!! Now try 4 granite boulders in your bed!! I am like you (surprise), I flip and flop all night long, and cannot stand it when I can't do so! However, I have to say that our dogs don't like my flipping and flopping so they all gravitate to my hubby's side of the bed!!ReplyDelete
Wait a minute... Your hubby has 1/2 the bed with all four dogs?? He must be sleeping in a 2-inch strip of the bed!Delete
How did I know you'd be a flip-flopper, too?!
Of course you knew that! :) Actually Sheba sleeps kind of in between us, and sometimes Kobi sleeps on a dog bed on the floor, but lately he's been in the bed mostly. My hubby is a way better sleeper than I am, which is a good thing!!Delete
Luckily (I think) my dogs are all too hot-natured to want to sleep with us. They would be enormous bed hogs!ReplyDelete
Yes, that is lucky! Although I must admit, on the rare occasions when the hubs is out of town, I love it that she sleeps in the bed with us. I'd be lonely in there all by myself!Delete
The three dogs that sleep with us provide so much warmth that I don't care what else they do.ReplyDelete
You are right though about the added weight, and even more so with a cat. She has been banished from the bedroom because the ten pound cat has a stomping weight of 200 pounds per paw when she strolls across our bodies at night.
That's so funny about the cat. Wow, every night is a three-dog night at your house!Delete
LOL too funny! That is precisely why no dogs in bed here. We can never fogure how people can flip with heavy dog on the covers.ReplyDelete
You're smart to not have the dogs on the bed! I like it at first... but it gets old when I wake up, pinned, at about 3 a.m.Delete
hahaha love the stick drawings. Try sleeping with 3 70+ # each. I think your theory is correct as when Glory is sleeping between my legs when I am on my back I can't move her to get my leg out. I swear that is why I am so tired the next day. Dr. say you need to get the pets out of bed for a good nights rest but I think if they weren't there with me I wouldn't sleep at all.ReplyDelete
That's so funny! My husband claims the Westie triples his weight when he sleeps. We don't let Bentley sleep with us because as a Basset, I'm afraid of back injuries if he jumped from our bed. It's too high for him. His bed is beside our though and he snores! Pierre sleeps in his giant kennel because that is where he slept with my daughter. He prefers it at night.ReplyDelete
Ha ha we know all about the trials and tribulations of space management of the big basket. I find a good paw kick or a butt push does the trick. You ought to try it Rita. Have a terrific Tuesday.ReplyDelete
Best wishes Molly
Haha I loved your illustrations! I know what you mean about being pinned in place, because I'm a restless sleeper too, but in my case my husband pins me with his arm over me. And he hates it when I roll over. Toby doesn't sleep in our bed because when Toby was a sweet little pup and I wanted him too, Ted wisely said no way. We'd all be zombies now if I'd had my way.ReplyDelete
LOL. When allowed, Jeffie sleeps right up between us (like a 3rd human in the bed) and he even has his own pillow. And to think, my husband was raised to believe dogs belonged outdoors ;-)ReplyDelete
My momma says OH The Stories she could tell you...well when she brought me home, I slept on the top of my Mom's head, or under her neck, its the only way i could sleep, then we added Sammer in the mix and he slept at the bottom of the bed, sucking his big headed duck puppet all night long, then rescue Trudie came along, and she always slept behind my mom's knees....OHMYPUG.....then after Sammer and Trudie went to the bridge, Maggie came and she slept between my mom and dad, under their pillows cos hers was tiny, then gussie came and he did the same thing, by that time I slept between them also the opposite way.ReplyDelete
Then one day Mom and Dad moved their whole bedroom to another room, and we got a big doggie bed, in our own room. My Mom said she had so much room but missed our presence at night. So sometimes we get to sleep with them on special occasions.
We have a rule that only 2 bodies can be in the bed at the same time (thanks to the Dog Boulder Syndrome). But on the days when daddy leaves early and Coco and mommy get to snuggle, she curls right up next to me and WILL NOT budge. For anything. No amount of flipping and flapping is going to move her. The result is mommy gets out of bed early.ReplyDelete
*laughs* No dogs in our bed, spouse would not stand for it. But our friend lets Huffle sleep in her bed, and he takes up so much space that HER husband sometimes has to boot him because he can't fit! So we KNOW Huffle would be a bed hog. She's sent us photos of his squirreled into the pillows, or taking up all of them.ReplyDelete
Though that doesn't mean we're free of sleep problems, both spouse and Huffle are snorers. Big. Time. :) We all have our crosses to bear, don't we?
I like your computerized drawings. Really depicts the reality!ReplyDelete
I think maybe Rita read your comment over at the taletellers and is totally messing with you now.ReplyDelete
P.S. I love the stick figure graphics. :-)
Ugh! Yes! Shiner likes to sleep on my feet. I like to have my blankies very high up almost over my head but it's too hard to pull them up because she's on the and she won't move for anything!ReplyDelete
The dog daddy in our house is the flip/flopper and a loud snorer as well. The Mama is a very polite and conscientious sleeper. When she feels the need to move, she ever so carefully turns because she usually has a (90 pound awake equates to what asleep?) dog against her back and she wants to make sure he gets his proper rest. :-)ReplyDelete
"...In other words, an awake dog might weigh 44 pounds, but that same dog - when asleep - suddenly weighs 308 pounds..."ReplyDelete
YES! YES! SO TRUE!!!