March 7, 2013

Mirth Watch Thursday: Rita's Rant

Hi everypawdy. Rita here. I have a bone to pick with the authors, illustrators, screen writers, directors, claymation-ers and muppeteers of this here world!

I want to know - where are the bitches that a little girl-pup like myself can look up to?
I beseech you. Seriously... what gives??

The other day, Momma saw a fun post about Pup Culture over on the I Still Want More Puppies blog. The post was a "debate" trying to figure out who the best TV dog is. Well, Momma read me some of the dogs on the list, and it reminded me of when me, Momma and Kona answered some interview questions a while back about what celebrity we all wanted to kiss. Kona named Lassie - cuz that's practically the only girl celebrity dog out there! (And even Lassie's not all girl... keep reading.)

What's a bitch supposed to do for a role model? Did you ever notice this before - the preponderance of pups with penises in pupular culture??

Here's a list of fairly famous pups I came up with - just off the top of my head. (And a little help from Wikipedia...)

In the cartoon/muppet/clay realm, we've got: 
* Astro
* Blue (Blue's Clues)
* Brian (Family Guy)
* Clifford
* Earl (Mutts)
* Frankenweenie
* Fred Bassett
* Goofy
* Gromit
* Grimm (Mother Goose & Grimm)
* Idefix (from the French "Asterix" comic books - had to throw this one in for Daddy! Hi Daddy!)
* Marmaduke
* Odie (Garfield)
* Pluto
* Rowfl (The Muppets)
* Sandy^ (Little Orphan Annie)
* Santa’s Little Helper (The Simpsons)
* Satchel (Get Fuzzy)
* Scooby
* Snoopy
* Snowy^ (or Milou in the French version - again for Daddy! - in The Adventures of Tintin) 
* Underdog
* Zero (The Nightmare Before Christmas)

^I know it sounds like Sandy or Snowy could be girl dogs, but I looked it up. They're both boys. 

As for actual living, panting, shedding dogs, there's: 
* Beethoven
* Benji
* Bruiser (Legally Blonde)
* Champion (the 3-legged dog on Parks & Rec)
* Cujo
* Eddie (Frasier)
* Hooch (Turner &...)
* Marley
* Murray (Mad About You)
* Petey (Our Gang)
* Porthos (Star Trek)
* Rin Tin Tin
* Stinky and Nunzio (Dharma & Greg)
* Tiger (The Brady Bunch)
* Toto
* Vincent (Lost)
* Wishbone

Even the dogs in advertising seem to all be boys!
Nipper - HIS mater's voice
Chopper, the Traveler's Ins. dog

You're probably thinking, "Well, there's Lassie." But Lassie was always played by a male dog! According to Wikipedia, male dogs were used "because male collies retain a thicker summer coat than females, which 'looks better on television.' Also, the male is larger and a child actor can play opposite the dog for longer before outgrowing him."

What a bunch of HOOEY! What about a male dog's willy?? No one wants to see that on TV! (Do they??) Girls have no willies. Hire a girl dog, you Hollywood producer people! Seriously!!

Maybe those Hollywood types are starting to get the no-furry-willies-on-TV message. After all, right now there's Isis on Downtown Labby Abbey and Stella on Modern Family. Still, I've named 44 dogs in this post, and only 3 are bitches?! That's less than 10%!

Even my own MOTHER included a boy dog, Kona, in her novel, What the Dog Ate. Et tu, Momma? Et tu?

[Momma says in her defense that Kona's character was kinda that of a big knucklehead, so he had to be a boy. I think she is trying to get on my good side... She also says that the main doggy in her upcoming book is a girl. Well, it's about time! And her next book after that also has a girl dog. Okay Momma. I forgive you.]

Alright you authors, illustrators, and Hollywood types - you are on notice. Us girl pups want to see more characters we can relate to on TV and in the movies and in the funny pages!! We demand equal rights! Hire girl dogs! We're just as cute, smart and talented - and we don't pee on everything and Hump Day will always just mean Wednesday!

I hope my other girl dog friends are with me on this! Grrrrl Power.  


  1. Just to add insult to missed a few....Spuds MacKenzie, Snoopy!,Scooby-Doo, Astro from the Jetsons....LOL! Sorry! Sadly, it's still a man's world....

    1. Oh, yep, I did miss Spuds. But I'm just a little girl pup - I don't know about beer commercials! (I didn't miss Snoopy, Scooby or Astor though!)

      Who do I see about changing it to a bitch's world??
      Thanks for stopping by,

  2. You should know that Toto (a boy dog) in the movie version of "The Wizard of Oz" with Judy Garland was played by a bitch named Terry. So there you have one very famous girl dog, if I do say so myself!!!!
    *Cairn cuddles*

    1. Well, good! I'm super glad to hear that! (And of course you would be an expert on all-things-Oz!)

      See - the folks behind The Wizard of Oz knew that people don't want to see furry willies on the Big Screen!
      Thanks for the good news, Oz!

  3. And even when they have girl dogs, they are just puppy makers, like Chloe in the BH movies and Lady in "Lady and the Tramp." And Lady's pups all looked like Tramp. A vile injustice.

    Misty the alpha Poodle

    1. Yes - you're right. I forgot about Lady. But that also brings up Perdita in 101 Dalmatians! Talk about a puppy maker!

      Thank you for your support, Misty. Grrrrl Power!

  4. well, melanie says don't forget 'polly purebred'..girlfriend of underdog..

    the ET syndicate

  5. Ya...You are so right!! Girl power!!!

  6. You know, I bet they're all actually girl dogs playing boy dog! Hey wait a minute! How bout Emma over at - she's now a dog treat supermodel at Target!

    1. Wow - didn't know Emma was a supermodel! Go Emma! Yes - more grrrrl dogs in advertising!

  7. I like gurldawgs ;) You go girl!

    1. Yeah, where would you be without gril dawgs?! Thanks for your support, Giz!

  8. what about Lady from Lady & The Tramp?
    What about Nana from Peter Pan?

    1. Yeah, Misty the poodle mentioned Lady above - but also added that all the puppies looked like TRAMP! WtH??

      But Nana - that's a good one! A perfect role model in a position of responsibility! Thanks for the reminder!

  9. "What about a male dog's willy?? No one wants to see that on TV!" Ha ha! Agreed! Bring on the girl dogs :)

    1. I'm glad you agree with me on the willy thing. :)

  10. Rosie is with you all the way, Rita! Go Girl Dogs!

  11. Now I'm really sad. I often think of how men in their 50s and 60s are still playing action heroes in movies while women disappear at 35 (until they're old enough to play a cute old lady).

    And now you're reminding me that girl dogs have it bad too!

    I think I'll cheer myself up by watching Honey in some home movies. Maybe you, Rita, need to make some movies of your own too.

    1. It's kind of unbelievable when you stop and think about it, isn't it??

      Yes, maybe home movies is the way to go!

  12. Ha ha true it's a dogs' world. About time we broke the mold, fungally speaking. Doglets of the world unite! LOL! It is time to find our inner bitch! Thanks for visiting. Nice to meet you and we will be back. Have a fabulous Friday.
    Best wishes Molly

    1. I'm in touch with my inner bitch! Thanks for stopping by and supporting our Grrrl Power efforts!


  13. Great list!
    Also Dug from Up!
    Little Brother- Dog in Mulan
    Otto- Beatle Baily

    I'll try to think of a few girls:
    Daisy from Blondie cartoons
    what about the chihuahua on Legally Blonde?
    of course there's Kelly from Dieting with my Dog!!

    1. The chihuahua was Bruiser! Another boy!

      And Perdita was just a puppy machine. Sigh.

      But yes, Daisy and Kelly! Thanks for adding two more girls to the list - although... you also added 3 more boys! Waa-waaaaa.

  14. Wow... you are so right! I had not considered it from this angle. Where's the love for the lady pups? I would like to join your Grrrl Power revolution.

    1. It's kinda insane right? I mean, even with the additional gals mentioned in the comments, we're still probably not about 20%. That's not just random - that's a focused effort to keep us grrrl dogs barefoot and in the kitchen! (okay... I admit I like being barefoot and in the kitchen... but that's beside the point!)

      Thanks for support our Grrrl Power Revolution!

  15. Hadn't thought about it much but wow...although Gidget from Taco Bell was a girl she had to play the part of a boy...hummm...letter to Taco Bell...


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