I'm not a big fan of Hollywood news, but if you've been online at all recently, you probably saw that "Ben & Jen" (Affleck* and Garner) are divorcing. As part of the news, Ben's Oscar acceptance speech where he stated that marriage "is work, but the best kind of work" got some more play.
I love to watch the Oscars every year, and I remember Ben making that speech, and I also remember thinking, "Uh-oh, red flag."
Now, some folks may agree that marriage is work, but not me. And not the hubs either. When I asked him if he thought marriage was work, he made a "the milk's gone sour" face and said, "Work?! No!"
Maybe whether or not you think marriage is "work" depends on what you think of when you think of the word. If you Google "define work," here's what comes up: "activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result." Yes, you do have to put some effort into your marriage if you want it to be a good one.
But here are the synonyms that come up: labor, toil, slog, drudgery, exertion, effort, industry, service
Slog?? Drudgery?? Toil??
I know marriage may be a slog for some folks (and that's a bummer) but these are not words I'd associate with marriage.
The hubs and I both stress out about our jobs. So, although not synonymous with work, stress is another thing that comes to mind when I think of work. But marriage is not stressful. I like marriage. Marriage is fun.
That's why, to me, marriage is more like a game of bitey-face.
Hear me out...
Five Ways Marriage is Like a Game of Bitey-Face
1. It involves a lot of communication
Bitey-face looks scary. All that biting, growling, snapping, etc. could easily be misinterpreted. So dogs have to communicate constantly during a game so they know it's all in fun. Good communication is key to a good game of bitey-face, and a good marriage.
2. Sometimes you need an attention-getter
During a game of bitey-face, sometimes one dog will get distracted by an interesting smell or a loud noise. The other has to make some sort of attention-getting move (maybe a playful bop on the shoulder, or a gentle nibble) to get the other dog back in the game. Just like in a marriage, sometimes you might feel taken for granted. Suggesting a date night is a nice way to get your partner's attention again.
3. Sometimes you need to hash it out
Sometimes Reg chews on Rita just that little bit too much, and she gets pissy with him. She lets him know he went too far, and they work it out and the game continues. Sometimes you lose your patience with your spouse, but it's best to work it out quickly and get back in the game.
4. Sometimes you willingly let your partner "win"
Ever seen a big dog play with a little dog? They often throw themselves on the ground, letting the little dog have a chance to lord it over the bigger dog. It's best to have a level playing field in a marriage, and sometimes you have to let the other person win, for the good of "the game."
5. Sometimes you have to apologize
Rita's BFF is a boxer who is a bit bigger and stronger than Rita. Sometimes she (unintentionally) takes things too far and Rita gets upset, and Dakota knows it and will immediately run to Rita and start kissing her and trying to get back on her good side. Just like in marriage when you know you've pushed your partner's buttons and need to apologize. I'm not great about apologizing, but the kissing and making up part is fun.
Have I convinced you? Do you think marriage is like a game of bitey face?
* Does anyone else hear that insurance-selling duck when they read the name Affleck. AFFLECK!
Thanks to Snoopy’s Dog Blog, Alfie’s Blog, and My Brown Newfies for hosting Monday Mischief!